In an article from Métro entitled Le bel homme vide*, Juliette (no surname given) writes about life as une éternelle célibataire (an eternal single girl).
In her article, she describes one of her nights out in a bar. There, she saw a really good-looking guy whom she decides to call Vincent. Not wasting any time, she immediately struck up a conversation with him.
As they talked, however, Juliette realised that Vincent wasn’t very intellectually stimulating.
Vincent then asked her to dance. Juliette accepted, wondering if there’d be a physical connection with him despite the absence of an intellectual one.
Turns out there wasn’t. She explains that she felt nothing for him quand elle dansait collée à lui.
She goes on to explain that, near the end of the evening, Vincent kissed her. She says that she could have refused, but, au point où elle était rendue, elle n’avait pas grand-chose à perdre. Oh boy.
Then she tells us what the kiss was like:
… ce french a été le pire de ma vie!
… that was the worst French kiss of my life!
She goes on to describe la morale de cette histoire:
Les très beaux garçons sont rarement ceux avec qui ça va cliquer.
You rarely click with the really good-looking boys.
She even leaves us with this bit of wisdom:
… la prochaine fois que je sors danser, j’oublie les beaux gars et je cherche ceux dont le physique est moins frappant. La beauté est à l’intérieur, tout le monde le sait, mais il faut parfois un french avec trop de langue et trop de bave pour nous le rappeler!
(bave = slobber, spit, etc.)
So, there you go! Two more things you can add to your growing knowledge of informal French:
un french (un french avec trop de bave!)
cliquer (les garçons avec qui ça va cliquer)
There are a lot of other useful expressions in these quotes too, like: danser collé à quelqu’un, la morale de cette histoire, un physique frappant (a stunning body), ne pas avoir grand-chose à perdre…
[All three quotes from: Juliette (17 août 2011). « Le bel homme vide ». Métro (Montréal), p. 10.]
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* I read the paper version of this article, but an online version is available here.
