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Posts Tagged ‘anglophone’

“Go back to the cuisine immediately and finish making the Chinese patty, Rupert. On way. ON WAY!”

Rupert and Samantha are two anglophone Canadians who live in a parallel universe.

In this parallel universe, Rupert and Samantha speak a variety of English that has borrowed and adapted vocabulary from Québécois French. Their English also conserves usages that have fallen out of use elsewhere in the English-speaking world.

In part 1, Samantha pawnied a hen’s nest on the roo (hit a pothole on the street). Her husband, Rupert, pawnied a cold (caught a cold) after a gross cave externated on him (a big idiot sneezed on him). If you haven’t read part 1 yet, you’ll probably want to read that first.

Here’s part 2. In this part, Rupert and Samantha are in a chicken (in a fight) because the chariot (car) won’t start. Does it have something to do with the hen’s nest that Samantha pawnied? Read on to find out.

Oh, and yes, Rupert and Samantha look a little different this time. That’s because this is a parallel universe and just whatever.

Have fun deciphering the dialogue!

Rupert and Samantha are in a chicken

  • Rupert! Art thou occupied?
  • I’m still in the cuisine, Samantha. I’m preparing delicious Chinese patty for supper.
  • Oh tabernacle, not Chinese patty again… Rupert, come look at the chariot. Ever since I pawnied that hen’s nest out there on the roo, I’ve been having misery to start the chariot.
  • Are thou nezzing me?
  • Pawn toot. I’ve been fucking the dog on mass.
  • Achooom!
  • Oh hesty, Rupert. I want not to pawnie thine cold. Cover thine mouth.
  • Samantha, thou knowest I pawnied a cold while out magazining in the formiddy. ‘Tis not my fault if some hesty of a gross cave externated on me.
  • Crucifix, Rupert. Just look at the chariot.
  • Samantha, I am looking at the chariot. Hast thou made the plain?
  • Bang sure not. I thought thou hadest made the plain.
  • Oh frankly, Samantha. I’m tanned of reminding thee to make the plain. Look, there’s no gauze in the tank. How thinkest thou to start the chariot without gauze? Verily, it astonishes me not thou hast been fucking the dog.
  • Shit of fuck of shit, Rupert. Just go back to the cuisine. I’ll get the other chariot and syphon gauze out of it with my mouth.
  • Oh… Hast thou not the bitch to syphon gauze using the mouth?
  • I’m not some hesty of a useless moomoon, Rupert. I know how to syphon gauze using the mouth.
  • Art thou insinuating that I be a moomoon, Samantha?
  • Oh verily, I have not the taste to talk about this pawn toot! Let me occupy myself of the chariot. Go back to the cuisine immediately and finish making the Chinese patty, Rupert. On way. ON WAY!
  • Aye, aye, Samantha, ’tis correct…

_ _ _

in a chicken: en chicane (in a fight)
art thou: es-tu (are you)
occupied: occupé (busy)
the cuisine: la cuisine (the kitchen)
Chinese patty: pâté chinois (shepherd’s pie)
oh tabernacle: oh tabarnak (oh fuck)
the chariot: le char (the car)
to pawnie a hen’s nest: pogner un nid-de-poule (to hit a pothole)
the roo: la rue (the street)
I’ve been having misery: j’ai de la misère (I’ve been having difficulty)
to nezz: niaiser (to kid)
pawn toot: pantoute (not at all)
to fuck the dog: fucker le chien (to have difficulty)
on mass: en masse (big time)
hesty: esti (fuck)
to pawnie thine cold: pogner ton rhume (to catch your cold)
thou knowest: tu sais (you know)
to magazine: magasiner (to shop)
in the formiddy: dans l’avant-midi (in the late morning)
’tis not: c’est pas (it’s not)
a gross cave: un gros cave (a big idiot)
a hesty of a gross cave: un esti de gros cave (a big fucking idiot)
to externate: éternuer (to sneeze)
crucifix: crucifix (fuck)
hast thou: as-tu (have you)
to make the plain: faire le plein (to fill up on gas)
bang sure not: bien sûr que non (of course not)
thou hadest: tu avais (you had)
I’m tanned: je suis tanné (I’m fed up)
of reminding thee: de te rappeler (of reminding you)
gauze: gaz* (gas, petrol)
how thinkest thou: comment penses-tu (how do you think)
verily: vraiment (really, honestly)
shit of fuck of shit: shit de fuck de shit (holy fuckin’ holy shit)
to have the bitch: avoir la chienne (to be afraid)
a moomoon: une moumoune (a sissy, suck, wimp)
I have not the taste: j’ai pas le goût (I don’t feel like)
let me occupy myself of: laisse-moi m’occuper de (let me take care of)
on way: enweille (get a move on)
aye, aye, ’tis correct: OK, OK, c’est correct (OK, OK, fine)

*Gaz is pronounced gâz in Québec. The French â sound in Québec comes close to how “aww” sounds in English. This is why Rupert and Samantha say gauze.

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“Aye, the roos are always mardy after winter. Unless thou restest in Montréal, bang sure. Then they’re mardy all year long. Ha ha ha!”

Imagine a parallel universe where the English language spoken in Canada had been influenced by Québécois French, and where it also conserved certain linguistic features that had fallen out of use in other English-speaking parts of the world.

What might that variety of English sound like?

Rupert and Samantha

  • Rupert, I’m home!
  • I’m in the cuisine, Samantha!
  • Ah, there thou art. Crucifix! I pawnied a hesty of a hen’s nest out there on the roo. I almost scrapped the chariot!
  • Aye, the roos are always mardy after winter. Unless thou restest in Montréal, bang sure. Then they’re mardy all year long. Ha ha ha!
  • May’s on! Verily thou art funny, Rupert. But ’tis donbe true — those Montréal roos are full purrent! At least here in Toronto the roos are less posh.
  • A-a-a-a-chhhoom!
  • Oh tabernacle, Rupert! Tell me not thou hast another cold!
  • Aye, some hesty of a gross cave externated on me when I was out magazining in the foremiddy.
  • Art thou nezzing me? Now I’m tanned, I am. Every time thou pawniest a cold, thou hast such misery getting over it. Oh hesty, Rupert!

_ _ _

the cuisine: la cuisine (the kitchen)
thou art: tu es (you are)
crucifix!: crucifix! (goddammit!)
to pawnie a hen’s nest: pogner un nid-de-poule (to hit a pothole)
a hesty of a hen’s nest: un esti de nid-de-poule (a goddamn pothole)
the roo: la rue (the street)
to scrap the chariot: scraper le char (to wreck the car)
aye: oui (yes)
mardy: de la marde (shitty)
to rest in Montréal: rester à Montréal (to live in Montréal)
bang sure: bien sûr (of course)
May’s on!: mets-en! (you can say that again!)
verily: vraiment (truly)
’tis donbe true: c’est donc ben vrai (it’s just so true)
purrent: épeurant (scary)
posh: poche (crappy)
tabernacle!: tabarnak! (fuck!)
tell me not: dis-moi pas (don’t tell me)
thou hast: tu as (you have)
a gross cave: un gros cave (a big idiot)
a hesty of a gross cave: un esti de gros cave (a goddamn big idiot)
to externate: éternuer (to sneeze)
to magazine: magasiner (to shop)
in the foremiddy: dans l’avant-midi (in the [late] morning)
to nezz: niaiser (to kid)
tanned: tanné (fed up)
to pawnie a cold: pogner un rhume (to catch a cold)
thou hast misery: tu as de la misère (you have trouble)
hesty!: esti! (goddammit!)

Does this maybe remind you of what Québécois French might sound like to European francophones?

Obviously I’m nezzin’, and the dialogue above is highly exaggerated. But what’s interesting is that it still feels like English — a very different variety of English, but still English.

It’s no secret that Québécois French has borrowed words from English and often transformed them into something unique. It also conserves French usages that francophones abroad have stopped using.

A regular, spontaneous dialogue of the same length in Québécois French wouldn’t sound as exaggerated as the one above.

That said, Québécois French really is different to other varieties abroad — but it’s still French nonetheless, hesty!

_ _ _

Read part 2 of Rupert and Samantha

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Focus on what you have control over, like speaking and listening skills. Don’t worry about your accent because it’s not a big deal. [Image courtesy of Snob Affair]

Are you disappointed by bilingual francophones who switch to English on you when you speak French? There is a solution.

It will require work of you and it won’t come overnight, but it’s within your control and it’s achievable.

Last week in Montréal, I overheard two women, one francophone and one anglophone, speaking to each other in French. The two women didn’t know one another. The francophone asked the anglophone for directions, and they spoke together for almost two minutes.

I listened in on their conversation. I’ve developed a very bad habit of listening in on other people’s conversations since I started this blog.

What struck me about the conversation was that the anglophone had an English accent so thick that you could have sliced it with a knife — and yet, the francophone did not switch to English on her. They spoke in French only.

The anglophone, although she had a very heavy accent, seemed reasonably comfortable speaking spontaneously in French. Admittedly, I don’t know if the francophone was bilingual.

I know another woman, also anglophone, who has a very strong accent when speaking French. I don’t know her very well, but I can recall four times recently where she spoke in French with a bilingual francophone who did not switch to English on her.

She may speak with a strong English accent, but she’s able to speak French spontaneously, and I’ve never noted any listening comprehension problems.

I have observed other instances of this with different anglophones in Montréal. Although they had an obvious English accent — sometimes heavy, sometimes not — there was no language switch from French to English.

Yes, I know this is all anecdotal evidence. That’s because: OffQc.

One of the most frequent complaints I hear from anglophone learners of French is that bilingual francophones always switch to English as soon as the English accent is detected.

I too used to believe that the language switch was caused by a heavy English accent. I don’t believe this anymore.

I believe now that what causes the language switch is the impression that you’re struggling to find your words (speaking problem), or that you don’t understand what’s being said (listening problem).

This is great news for you.

It means that you can chill out about your accent, which is pretty much impossible to eliminate entirely for us adult language learners, and focus on the stuff that you have much more control over — speaking and listening.

How do you improve your speaking and listening?

I’ll let you in on a secret.

The best way to improve your speaking and listening is by… speaking and listening. 🙂

You’ll become great at whatever you spend large amounts of time doing. Spend your time memorising verb conjugations, and you’ll become great at memorising verb conjugations. Spend your time speaking and listening instead, and you’ll become great at speaking and listening.

As adults, sometimes we think that we’re not ready to speak with others in our new language because we still have trouble recalling words. We fear that we speak too slowly — and it may even be true. However, no amount of independent preparation will ever cure this entirely.

The only way to become a faster speaker with the ability to recall words immediately is through speaking with others.

Until you begin putting yourself in situations where you’re obligated to speak spontaneously in French, you’ll always be a slow speaker searching for your words. And those bilingual francophones will switch to English on you.

The same goes for listening. I don’t remember who said this, but it’s not the native speakers who speak too fast; it’s you the learner who listens too slowly.

Until you begin putting yourself in situations where you’re listening to large amounts of spoken French, you’ll always be a slow listener with a look of bewilderment on your face. And those bilingual francophones will switch to English on you.

So, the best way to get those bilinguals to stop switching to English is to improve your speaking and listening by doing lots of speaking and listening.

You can worry about perfecting your accent later. Or never.

And this is great news because speaking and listening are things you can start improving right now. Yes, you’ve got work ahead of you, but it’s your call.

_ _ _

In the meantime, here are a couple essential phrases to learn for the times when you’re confronted with the language switch:

Nooon! Continue de me parler en français! L’accent québécois, je trouve ça tellement hot! Noooo! Keep speaking to me in French! I think the québécois accent is so hot!

Tu vas devoir me parler en français, tsé. Sinon, tu risques de pogner un ticket. You’re gonna have to speak to me in French, you know. Otherwise, you might get a ticket.

Who knows, maybe you’ll even hope for the language switch just to try those out on someone. 😉

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Language in MontréalSome people will tell you that Montréal is a bad place to learn French.

It’s a very common myth, one that’s easy to believe if you don’t take a closer look.

If you’re serious about learning French (and by serious I mean someone who’s committed to learning over the long term), then Montréal is a wonderful place to learn French.

It doesn’t matter that there are anglophones in Montréal. It doesn’t matter that some bilingual francophones may switch to English on you.

Why don’t these matter?

First, look at the language situation in Montréal.

Who speaks what native language in Montréal
(and why it’s not a problem)

If the city of Montréal (not including the metropolitan area) were reduced to 126 people like in the image above, roughly 66 of them would speak French as their native language, 17 would speak English, and 43 would be native speakers of some other language, most of whom have also learned to speak either French or English, or both.

Montréal is clearly not exclusively francophone. You may be looking at that image thinking, “oh boy, look at all those people who don’t speak French as their native language!”

It doesn’t matter.

It doesn’t matter that not all people in Montréal have French as their native language.

Why?

Because there is simply no shortage of francophones to speak with.

You choose who you let into your life. If you want francophones in your life, go find them. There is no shortage in Montréal.

What about the language switchers?

People in Montréal have a high rate of knowledge of both French and English. This may lead to some francophones switching to English on you in the beginning stages of your learning, especially if they do not know you very well.

Learning French is a long-term endeavour requiring a long-term approach.

The best way to learn French (or any language) is to develop a strong bond with someone who speaks it.

Why a strong bond is important

A strong bond isn’t just a girlfriend or boyfriend. It can be a close friend.

A person who you share a strong bond with is far more unlikely to switch to English on you. In a certain way, that person accompanies you on your journey to fluency over the long term.

There is a vested interest between the two of you.

There is also regular contact between the two of you, which is essential in maintaining the “fire” to learn French.

If you’ve got a strong bond in your life, it’s much less of a concern or annoyance when someone else (a weak bond) switches to English on you. Learning French through weak bonds is not an ideal long-term approach, no matter where in the world you learn French.

You just need at least one strong bond with a francophone in your life. A few more people are good too — but you can start with just one.

The bottom line

In reality, you can learn French anywhere. All the francophones in Montréal are just icing on your cake.

If you’re in it for the long haul, learning French in Montréal is a wonderful choice.

Here’s what you need to do:

Make at least one of the very significant people in your life a francophone. Montréal has nearly one million of them to choose from.

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Rumours suggest that residents of La Tuque, Québec may be warming up to the idea of biting anglophone tourists when requested.

If you’re worried about your English accent when speaking French in Québec, don’t be.

Every so often, I receive an email from a reader concerned about how his or her accent isn’t “good enough.” My answer is always the same: it’s more than good enough, and don’t let your accent stop you.

Here are four reasons why.

1. Nobody’s going to bite you

Maybe you feel the need to hide your accent because you worry (needlessly) about an anti-English sentiment in Québec. If that’s the case, don’t waste another second harbouring this thought. You’ll be very well-received in Québec.

Some people will be interested in you because of your English accent, others will simply be indifferent. More importantly, nobody’s going to bite you because of your accent or because you’re anglophone.

If you ask nicely to be bitten however, somebody might oblige, especially in Montréal. Not sure about La Tuque.

2. Conversations will be easier

If you had no accent, other people wouldn’t bother to slow down a little when they speak. That’s fine if you already manage well in French, but less so when you’re still learning. Your accent can sometimes help signal to other people to not break out the pompoms in French just yet and to slow down a little, making the conversation easier.

You don’t need to worry about bilingual francophones switching to English because of your accent. It’s not usually the accent that causes a bilingual to switch, but the impression that you don’t understand what’s being said (work on your listening) or that you’re having trouble expressing yourself (work on your speaking).

If you do ultimately get the switch, remember that it’s not a Linguistic Blue Screen of Death (a fatal-error message in your head telling you that it’s game over). Rather, it’s an opportunity to try again, or to start a conversation, or to get feedback on your French, or something you simply brush off and carry on.

3. You’ll build confidence

If you’re worried about your accent, you’ll avoid speaking and begin to stagnate. Acknowledge your accent for what it currently is, then forget about it. Go find people to speak with and let your accent hang all out.

When you discover that nothing bad happens, you’ll feel confident about speaking more often. And the more often you speak with people, the more you may just find that your accent starts sounding québécois.

4. Everybody’s got an accent

And that’s especially true in Montréal, where people are used to hearing every accent imaginable in French. You’re not going to shock anybody with your accent.

When people hear your accent, they’ll know it means that you had to learn the language. That’s always impressive to people. Let your accent win you a few compliments from time to time. You’ve earned it.

It’s perfectly understandable to want to make your accent resemble the native speakers’ as closely as possible. For many learners, it’s an enjoyable and challenging goal to work towards. But don’t ever let your current accent prevent you from pursuing what you want from your efforts to learn French.

Photo credit: bouchecl/Wikipedia

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I’m not only sexy because a very big fan is blowing my hair all around, I’m also sexy because I learned French in Montréal.

There are lots of reasons to learn to speak like the Québécois. Here are just five.

1. It’s delicious

You have to admit there’s something cool about learning to speak in a way that’s different to the larger majority of French speakers in the world. The farther you go into the québécois variety, the more you discover that there’s a deliciousness about it that makes you keep coming back for more. It’s kind of like the difference between Apple and Dell.

2. Endear yourself to the Québécois

You’ll endear yourself to the Québécois, who’ll take pleasure in hearing you use a typically québécois word or expression. It sends the message that you’ve made Québec your home, or that the French of Québec is your point of reference, or that you simply like the Québécois. Don’t go overboard with the accent and expressions though, trying to be ultra-québécois! Just be yourself.

3. Rise above the nonsense

Have you ever been told that the French of Québec isn’t real French, maybe even by a school teacher? Some people who have difficulty understanding the Québécois cover up their anxiety about it by denigrating it. By learning the French of Québec, you rise above this nonsense and aren’t held back by other people’s limitations.

4. Dazzle the French

Travel to France and people will be intensely curious about you and your accent! You’ll be asked all kinds of questions, like where you’re from and where you learned French. If your accent is a blended one, like québécois plus the accent associated with your native language, then you’re even more exotic and sexy to the French.

5. Because the sky’s the limit

The French of Québec has loads of different vowel sounds in it. It isn’t necessary to reproduce all of them exactly to make yourself understood. But if you do manage to master the entire québécois vowel system, there’s not much else stopping you in life!

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The latest issue of the magazine Urbania (from Montreal) is devoted to the theme of anglophones.

I enjoy recommending the magazine Urbania as reading material in French. Each issue is devoted to a single theme, with interesting articles and images.

Urbania lets their Twitter followers (@_URBANIA) know about the release of their latest issue:

Ce soir, on lance notre Spécial #ANGLOS. Voici quelques textes qu’on a déjà publiés et qui avaient fait pas mal jaser. urbania.ca/canaux/reporta…

 

faire jaser
to get talked about

faire pas mal jaser
to really get talked about,
to create a stir

In Quebec, jaser is pronounced jâser. This means that the vowel a in jaser sounds something like “aww.”

If you enjoy reading magazines, you might like to give Urbania a try.

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