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Posts Tagged ‘câlisser’

Adviser: Mr Harper, I think you may be showing too much neck, even for Québec. Harper: Oh je m’en crisse. C’est la fin de semaine. Donne-moi ce café.

You’re becoming experts at saying that you don’t give a shit (or a fuck either) in French, and it’s all OffQc’s fault. But, if Mr Harper knows how to say it, then you probably should too.

In entry #635, you discovered how to say “I don’t give a fuck” or “I don’t give a damn” using the verb s’en câlisser:

1. Je m’en câlisse.

Then, in entry #641, you discovered the verb s’en sacrer:

2. Je m’en sacre.

And now here’s a third way, inspired by this Urbania article:

3. Je m’en crisse.

This third way uses the verb s’en crisser.

You now know three québécois verbs to express not giving a shit about something:

s’en câlisser
s’en sacrer
s’en crisser

Here are a few examples using this new verb, s’en crisser.

On s’en crisse!
Nobody gives a shit!

Je m’en crisse que tu t’en crisses.
I don’t give a damn that you don’t give a damn.

Je m’en crisse royalement!
I don’t give a flying fuck!

J’ai coulé mon examen, mais dans le fond, je m’en crisse.
I flunked my exam, but really, I don’t give a shit.

Image: Emperor Haute Couture (Margaret Sutherland)

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It almost sounds graceful...

From Gone with the Wind, after being dubbed into Québécois by a shit-disturber then subtitled back into English very literally for who knows what reason.

As graceful as it sounds, it’s probably best not to translate je m’en câlisse as “I chalice myself of it.”

No, it’s better translated as “I don’t give a fuck.”

That’s right — when you don’t give a flying fuck about something, you sacred-vessel yourself of that blasted thing.

That’s because the québécois swear verb câlisser derives from the religious calice, which is the chalice for Catholics.

To help you engrain the expression je m’en câlisse into your head forever, here are 10 examples from around the web.

1. In auto mechanics

Ce char-là, il est tough en maudit. Le jour où il va lâcher, il lâchera. Je m’en câlisse! C’est le dernier de mes soucis. Pour l’instant il roule. That car is tough as hell. The day it breaks down, it breaks down. I don’t give a fuck! That’s the last of my worries. For now, it still runs. Julie Robidoux, Ligne de vie

2. In business

Je m’en câlisse des clients, continua-t-il en élevant le ton, emporté par une colère incontrôlable. “I don’t give a fuck about the customers,” he continued, in a louder voice, overcome with uncontrollable anger. Yves Beauchemin, Le Matou

3. In weight-loss

Je m’en câlisse des excuses! I don’t give a fuck about the excuses! Fuck off with the excuses already! Club Athlétique Mansfield, via OffQc #611

4. In national pride

Je vais utiliser des gants blancs, mais tant qu’à moi, la Fête nationale, je m’en câlisse. I’ll try to be gentle when I say this, but I personally don’t give a fuck about the National Holiday (of Québec). Joël Martel, Mauvaise herbe, J’haïs la Saint-Jean

5. In royal matters

Ça m’épate à quel point je m’en colisse de la visite du prince Charles! It amazes me just how much I don’t give a fuck about Prince Charles’s visit! @jf_lalonde, Twitter (colisser is a variation of câlisser)

6. In psychology

J’ai une grand-mère de mon côté paternel qui s’en câlisse pas mal de moi et je m’en câlisse d’elle. I have a grandmother on my father’s side who really doesn’t give a fuck about me and I don’t give a fuck about her. el_picador, depotoir.ca (pas mal = pretty much)

7. In fashion

Je m’en câlisse que tu mettes des bas dans tes sandales, si t’es bien comme ça! I don’t give a fuck if you wear socks with your sandals, if you’re comfortable like that! Le point de non retour, Pour en finir avec les fashionistas

8. In immigration

Passé 50 ou 60 ans je m’en câlisse si un nouvel arrivant veut pas parler français. After age 50 or 60, I really don’t give a fuck if a newcomer doesn’t want to speak French. Grognor, reddit

9. In relationships

[Le badboy] prend de la place et a en quasi permanence une attitude du genre « je m’en câlisse, si tu n’es pas contente, décrisse ». Badboys (in relationships) are overbearing and almost always have that “I don’t give a fuck, fuck off if you’re not happy” attitude. Ol’ Dirty Jo, Sextons-Nous, Ce que femme veut selon ODJ

10. In politics

Elle a coupé la parole à quelqu’un en criant « je m’en câlisse de ton mouvement de marde ». She cut someone off by screaming, “I don’t give a fuck about your shitty movement.” Occupons Montréal

On s’en câlisse!

Now that you know je m’en câlisse, you also know on s’en câlisse, tu t’en câlisses, il s’en câlisse, etc. During the student protests in 2012, the protesters chanted la loi spéciale, on s’en câlisse!

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Unless you’ve got the eyes of a fucking hawk, click to see a larger version.

These 5 ads, seen near the entrance to a gym in Montréal, take a bold approach at encouraging us to tighten up our unsightly arses.

The ads use language like tabarnak, ostie, je m’en câlisse and fuck.

To shield sensitive eyes from vulgarity in French, the offensive bits have been smeared with a layer of blood-stained blubber syphoned out of a desperate gym member.

Je m’en câlisse des excuses!
Fuck off with the excuses already!
(I don’t give a fuck about the excuses!)

Ostie que ça fait du bien!
Fuck that feels good!

Bouge ton gros cul!
Move your fat ass!

Fuck le temps supplémentaire, je m’entraîne!
Fuck the overtime, I’m gonna work out!

Tabarnak que je suis hot!
Fuck I’m hot!

(Ads from Club Athlétique Mansfield)

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