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Posts Tagged ‘fuck’

I’ve got a backlog of interesting photos from around Montréal on my phone to share with you.

Here are a few that I’ve taken recently, all in the downtown area of Montréal. Now that spring is around the corner, it’ll be easier for someone like me with a crushed foot to get around and take photos.

From foufounes électriques, to ouate de phoque, and asking for a light from a hot guy in a bar, enjoy this little linguistic trip around Montréal.

Foufounes électriques!

Where else but in Montréal will you find a club called the “Electric bumbums”? That’s right — Montréal’s got the Foufounes électriques!

This venue is located at 87, Sainte-Catherine Est, near métro Saint-Laurent.

Click on the image to see a larger version of the front entrance to les Foufs. Right above the grey chariot in the roo, we see the word Foufounes; to the right, in smaller letters, we see électriques.

To be precise, the feminine noun foufounes used in Québécois French means “(bum) cheeks,” or les fesses. But to preserve the playful feel of the venue’s name, I think it translates better as “electric bumbums.”

One of the founders of the venue explained in The Guardian how the name was chosen: “Ass, girls and boys have one, so it’s not really sexual, and electric sounds dancy, so that’s how the name came about.”

Ouate de phoque! (… for young girls)

Maybe you’ll remember the image of a fun t-shirt in entry #687, sent in by Philip, with ouate de phoque printed on it. This is a playful French spelling of the expression “what the fuck.”

La ouate is an absorbent cotton puff or ball, like the ones that women use to apply or remove make-up. Un phoque is a seal. So in addition to the comical spelling ouate de phoque, we’ve also got wordplay: absorbent seal puffs.

There’s even a series of books for young girls in Québec called Ouate de phoque! I took a photo of the covers of two books in the series. Obviously, the vulgarity of the English expression is lost entirely in the playful French usage ouate de phoque.

I don’t think you’ll be seeing a series of books in English for young teenage girls called “What the fuck!” any time soon.

Québécois francophones do in fact use the swear word fuck, which is sometimes also spelled phonetically in French as foque. When fuck is used in French, it feels much less vulgar than in English.

One summer, I worked in Ontario alongside a québécois francophone. This was 20 years ago (ouch). At the time, my friend was still learning English. He would often say fuck around the office. I had to tell him this was very offensive to anglophone ears, and that people in the office wouldn’t appreciate it. He had no idea.

You got a light?

I spotted this tree with paper “leaves” on it at Place-des-Arts.

The leaves are in fact bits of paper with a sentence starter on it: Je me souviens…

People then fill in the rest with whatever it is they remember and want to share. On one of the leaves (see image below), someone wrote:

Je me souviens… du jour où je suis allée demander du feu au plus beau gars du bar! I remember… the day I went up to the most handsome guy at the bar and asked him for a light!

As-tu du feu? Of course, now that smoking has been banned pretty much everywhere, this classic conversation starter has fallen into disuse!

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Click on the image to read Rabii's letter.

Click on the image to read Rabii’s letter.

Remember Rabii Rammal?

He’s the guy who wrote comical blog posts in the form of open letters, like the one about someone who wanted to park in a spot for handicapped people, or the one about the woman who caught him picking his nose.

This time, Rabii has posted an open letter to a girl who wrote to him about wanting to commit suicide.

In his letter, Rabii tells her:

Tu m’as dit que « peut-être que tout l’monde s’en colisserait » si t’étais plus là.
You told me [in your message] that “maybe nobody would give a shit” if you weren’t alive anymore.

Then, at the end of his letter (which you can read and discover on your own if you’re interested), he tells her:

J’te connais pas, mais j’m’en colisse pas.
I don’t know you, but I do give a shit.

1. s’en colisser

to not give a shit

Tout le monde s’en colisse.
Nobody gives a shit.

Je m’en colisse.
I don’t give a shit.

2. ne pas s’en colisser

to actually give a shit
(i.e., to not not give a shit)

— Tu t’en colisses.
— Je m’en colisse pas!
— You don’t give a shit.
— I do give a shit!

There are a few other things in French that you might like to learn from his letter:

3. Tu m’as dit que t’avais lâché ta job.

You told me that you had quit your job.

Lâcher: Remember what â sounds like?
It sounds similar to “aww.”

4. Ça, c’était le bout rough à lire.

Reading that part was rough (i.e., it was difficult to stomach).

Le bout rough (the rough part) sounds like le boutte roffe.

5. J’ai trouvé ça nice.

I thought that was cool.

Nice is pronounced like the English word.

6. Je t’ai envoyé un bonhomme sourire.

I sent you a smiley. 🙂

[Language taken from: Rabii Rammal, Chère fille qui s’est pas suicidée, Urbania, 30 janvier 2014.]

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A guy in his late teens or early 20s standing in front of a shopping centre asked me if he could use my phone. He was waiting for a friend to pick him up, but it was taking his friend a long time to arrive.

The guy called his friend from my phone, but there was no answer. So he also sent his friend a text message from my phone:

Yo c pablo jsui la men c long fuck

Can you decipher the message?

Yo, c’est Pablo. J’suis là, man. C’est long, fuck.
Yo, it’s Pablo. I’m here, man. What’s taking so long, fuck.

Maybe you’ll remember that je suis is pronounced informally as chu or chui. On OffQc, I’ve used the spellings j’sus (chu) and j’suis (chui), but you’ll come across other spellings too.

C’est long! It’s taking a long time! What’s taking so long? Maybe you’re waiting for the bus and it’s taking a long time: c’est long! Or, like Pablo, maybe you’ve been waiting a really long time for a friend to arrive and you’re losing patience: c’est long, fuck!

Don’t pronounce the g in long. This word rhymes with mon.

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It almost sounds graceful...

From Gone with the Wind, after being dubbed into Québécois by a shit-disturber then subtitled back into English very literally for who knows what reason.

As graceful as it sounds, it’s probably best not to translate je m’en câlisse as “I chalice myself of it.”

No, it’s better translated as “I don’t give a fuck.”

That’s right — when you don’t give a flying fuck about something, you sacred-vessel yourself of that blasted thing.

That’s because the québécois swear verb câlisser derives from the religious calice, which is the chalice for Catholics.

To help you engrain the expression je m’en câlisse into your head forever, here are 10 examples from around the web.

1. In auto mechanics

Ce char-là, il est tough en maudit. Le jour où il va lâcher, il lâchera. Je m’en câlisse! C’est le dernier de mes soucis. Pour l’instant il roule. That car is tough as hell. The day it breaks down, it breaks down. I don’t give a fuck! That’s the last of my worries. For now, it still runs. Julie Robidoux, Ligne de vie

2. In business

Je m’en câlisse des clients, continua-t-il en élevant le ton, emporté par une colère incontrôlable. “I don’t give a fuck about the customers,” he continued, in a louder voice, overcome with uncontrollable anger. Yves Beauchemin, Le Matou

3. In weight-loss

Je m’en câlisse des excuses! I don’t give a fuck about the excuses! Fuck off with the excuses already! Club Athlétique Mansfield, via OffQc #611

4. In national pride

Je vais utiliser des gants blancs, mais tant qu’à moi, la Fête nationale, je m’en câlisse. I’ll try to be gentle when I say this, but I personally don’t give a fuck about the National Holiday (of Québec). Joël Martel, Mauvaise herbe, J’haïs la Saint-Jean

5. In royal matters

Ça m’épate à quel point je m’en colisse de la visite du prince Charles! It amazes me just how much I don’t give a fuck about Prince Charles’s visit! @jf_lalonde, Twitter (colisser is a variation of câlisser)

6. In psychology

J’ai une grand-mère de mon côté paternel qui s’en câlisse pas mal de moi et je m’en câlisse d’elle. I have a grandmother on my father’s side who really doesn’t give a fuck about me and I don’t give a fuck about her. el_picador, depotoir.ca (pas mal = pretty much)

7. In fashion

Je m’en câlisse que tu mettes des bas dans tes sandales, si t’es bien comme ça! I don’t give a fuck if you wear socks with your sandals, if you’re comfortable like that! Le point de non retour, Pour en finir avec les fashionistas

8. In immigration

Passé 50 ou 60 ans je m’en câlisse si un nouvel arrivant veut pas parler français. After age 50 or 60, I really don’t give a fuck if a newcomer doesn’t want to speak French. Grognor, reddit

9. In relationships

[Le badboy] prend de la place et a en quasi permanence une attitude du genre « je m’en câlisse, si tu n’es pas contente, décrisse ». Badboys (in relationships) are overbearing and almost always have that “I don’t give a fuck, fuck off if you’re not happy” attitude. Ol’ Dirty Jo, Sextons-Nous, Ce que femme veut selon ODJ

10. In politics

Elle a coupé la parole à quelqu’un en criant « je m’en câlisse de ton mouvement de marde ». She cut someone off by screaming, “I don’t give a fuck about your shitty movement.” Occupons Montréal

On s’en câlisse!

Now that you know je m’en câlisse, you also know on s’en câlisse, tu t’en câlisses, il s’en câlisse, etc. During the student protests in 2012, the protesters chanted la loi spéciale, on s’en câlisse!

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Unless you’ve got the eyes of a fucking hawk, click to see a larger version.

These 5 ads, seen near the entrance to a gym in Montréal, take a bold approach at encouraging us to tighten up our unsightly arses.

The ads use language like tabarnak, ostie, je m’en câlisse and fuck.

To shield sensitive eyes from vulgarity in French, the offensive bits have been smeared with a layer of blood-stained blubber syphoned out of a desperate gym member.

Je m’en câlisse des excuses!
Fuck off with the excuses already!
(I don’t give a fuck about the excuses!)

Ostie que ça fait du bien!
Fuck that feels good!

Bouge ton gros cul!
Move your fat ass!

Fuck le temps supplémentaire, je m’entraîne!
Fuck the overtime, I’m gonna work out!

Tabarnak que je suis hot!
Fuck I’m hot!

(Ads from Club Athlétique Mansfield)

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