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Posts Tagged ‘j’sus dans marde’

This post is all about how the Québécois marde can be used. Yes, that’s right, shit. Below — 6 examples. Let’s begin.

This image is entirely unrelated to the contents of this post.

This image is entirely unrelated to the contents of this post.

T’ES DANS’ MARDE, MAN…

The first thing you can do with shit in Québec is get yourself in it. (Try not to.) T’es dans’ marde, man. You’re screwed, man. You’re in trouble.

T’es is a spoken language contraction of tu es. T’es sounds like té.

Dans’ is a spoken contraction of dans la. First, la loses its l, which leaves us with dans ’a. When you say dans ’a, the ’a gets virtually swallowed up in the vowel sound of dans. There’s perhaps still a trace of it left over, but, practically speaking, we can say that dans la marde sounds like dans marde (although, in reality, dans is probably held just a millisecond longer than a regular dans in this case). We can use an apostrophe — dans’ — to signal that there used to be a la (or a contracted ’a) in there: dans’ marde.

AH BEN MAUDITE MARDE!

You can express anger by damning shit. The interjection maudite marde literally means damned shit, but you can use it the way you might say things in English like damn it, bloody hell or even just shit. Maudite marde, j’ai perdu ma Rolex! Damn it, I lost my Rolex!

For effect, maybe you’ll even want to add ah ben to it. Despite its spelling, ben sounds like the French word bain. In other words, the en of ben sounds like the nasalised in, not en! We could also spell it bin to make it phonetic, but the spelling ben is much more common. Ben is a contraction of bien. Ah ben helps to add desperation. Ah ben maudite marde! Well, damn it! Well, shit!

ÇA VAUT PAS D’LA MARDE

If you’re having a shitty day, maybe you’ll want to exclaim, aujourd’hui, ma vie, c’est d’la marde. My life’s shit today. Well, that’s what Lisa LeBlanc said in a song, anyway. You might even want to take it a step further and say, aujourd’hui, ma vie, ça vaut pas d’la marde. My life’s not worth shit today.

D’la is a spoken language contraction of de la. This contraction is used quite literally all the time. In ça vaut pas d’la marde, if you visualise the the d’ as coming at the end of pas instead of the beginning of la, you’ll probably find it easier to pronounce. In other words, first say pas with a d sound on the end of it, then say la.

J’VAS Y DONNER D’LA MARDE

Christmas is the season of giving, so why not give some shit? J’vas y donner d’la marde means I’m gonna give him shit, which is really just a shitty way of saying I’m gonna yell at him.

J’vas is a spoken language equivalent of je vais. The vas in j’vas rhymes with pas. To pronounce the contracted j’vas, just say vas with the French j sound on the front of it, all in one syllable.

Y here is a spoken language contraction of lui. (J’vas lui donner d’la marde.) There’s no liaison between vas and y.

MANGE DON’ D’LA MARDE!

If you’re gonna give someone shit, then you might as well go all the way and tell him to eat it – if you’re prepared to take a fistful of shit in the face in return, that is. Mange don’ d’la marde! Eat shit, will you! Don’ here is really donc, but don’t pronounce the c.

AH PIS D’LA MARDE!

Pis sounds like pi. It rhymes with the French word si. Pis is a contraction of puis.

Have you run out of shits to give while making a decision? Ah pis d’la marde! Imagine a child taking her first steps on her own in the living room with her parents looking on encouragingly. She takes one step, then two, then… boom! She crashes to the floor. She knows she’s supposed to get back up and try again; she can see the fiery glow of excitement in her parents’ eyes. But trying again is hard work. What she really wants to do is sit down and throw up her lunch.

She hesitates… try again or sit and throw up? try again or sit and throw up? OK, fine, I’ll try just one more time for mummy and daddy. But just as she begins to push herself up, she changes her mind. It’s just not worth the effort, and that mashed butternut squash she just ate really isn’t sitting right in her stomach. She sits back down, and, much to the horror of her parents, exclaims with resignation, ah pis d’la marde! Ah screw it!

Keep reading about swearing in Québécois French:

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Ostie que ça pue

Here are 5 items in French that you’ll find useful to learn. This list of 5 all started with 1 smelly garbage bin in Montréal…

1. Ostie que ça pue!

“Fuck that stinks!” I heard a man yell this while standing at a bus stop with some friends. Near them was a smelly garbage bin.

When something stinks, ça pue.

Ostie derives from hostie, the sacramental bread for Catholics. Variations of the swear word ostie exist, like estie and astie.

Yelling ostie or one of its variations is equivalent to yelling “fuck!”

Ostie que ça pue dans ta chambre!
Does it ever fucking stink in your room!

Remember how vidanges means “garbage” in Québec? I found this example on the web using both puer from our example above and vidanges:

J’devrais p’t’être sortir les vidanges qui puent la marde.
= Je devrais peut-être sortir les vidanges qui puent la marde.
I should probably take out the garbage which smells like shit.

2. Marde

That last example used puer la marde, “to smell like shit.” And that’s not a spelling mistake for merde — you really will hear marde in Québec.

Merde is also understood, like everywhere in the French-speaking world, but marde is distinctively québécois shit.

In a scene from La Galère (season 3, episode 10), Claude panics when her fiancé leaves her. She exclaims:

J’sus dans marde!
I’m in deep shit! I’m screwed!

3. J’sus dans marde!

When you’re up shit’s creek, t’es dans marde. The expression is être dans la marde, but you’ll hear it said as être dans marde, without la. It’s an informal contraction where la gets swallowed up by dans.

J’sus sounds like chu. It means the same thing as je suis, but chu is an informal pronunciation of it. Another informal pronunciation you’ll hear is j’suis, which sounds like chui.

In another scene from La Galère (season 2, episode 2), Stéphanie is angry because she’s let herself get hurt again by her boyfriend. She uses the informal j’sus when she says:

J’sus cave, j’sus cave, ostie, j’sus cave.
I’m so stupid, so stupid, fuck, I’m so stupid.

4. Cave

Un cave is an idiot. Olivier from Les Parent (season 3, episode 19) says:

Prenez-moi pas pour un cave!
I’m not stupid, you know!
(Don’t take me for an idiot!)

He used the vous form because he was speaking to more than one person. If we convert it to the tu form, it becomes prends-moi pas pour un cave!

5. Prends-moi pas

This form is an informal usage. According to the rules of standard written French, it would have to be ne me prends pas. During conversations, you’re very likely to hear it said as prends-moi pas instead.

Here’s another example of this with the verb toucher.

1. touche-moi
2. touche-moi pas
3. ne me touche pas

(1) is the affirmative form. (2) is an informal spoken form in the negative. (3) is the standard written form in the negative.

Below is an example from the web using touche-moi pas. And just to take us full-circle back to number 1 of this list, it also uses the verb puer as part of the expression puer la sueur, similar to puer la marde.

Tu pues la sueur dès huit heures le matin.
Touche-moi pas!

You stink of sweat as early as 8 o’clock in the morning.
Don’t touch me!

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