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Posts Tagged ‘mon chien est mort’

1. “He’s got bugs in the head.”

Someone with “bugs in the head” is someone who’s messed up in the mind. The expression here is avoir des bibittes dans la tête, which means to be messed up in the head, but translates literally as to have bugs in one’s head. Our too-literally-translated-into-English example he’s got bugs in his head is said in French as y’a des bibittes dans’ tête, where y’a and dans’ are colloquial contractions: y’a comes from il a, and dans’ comes from dans la.

Y’a des bibittes dans’ tête.
He’s messed up in the head.
Much too literally: “He’s got bugs in the head.”

2. “He’s in a real tabernacle.”

If you’re in a tabernacle — or better, in a real tabernacle — you’re royally pissed off. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get y’est en beau tabarnak. Y’est en sounds like yé t’en, which is a contraction of il est en. The expression here is être en tabarnak, with its variation être en beau tabarnak, both of which mean to be pissed off.

Joking aside, make sure you learn the difference between tabernacle and tabarnak. Tabernacle (with an e in the middle and le on the end) means tabernacle, an item associated with Catholicism. Tabarnak (with an a in the middle and k [or c] on the end) is a swear word deriving from tabernacle. The Québécois never say tabernacle to swear (the swear words are tabarnak or tabarnac) and never refer to the tabernacle as a tabarnak!

So, although, the English above reads much too literally as he’s in a real tabernacle, the Québécois aren’t really saying the equivalent of tabernacle when they use this expression, but a vulgar variant of it.

Y’est en beau tabarnak.
He’s totally pissed off.
Much too literally: “He’s in a real tabernacle.”

3. “He put the music in the rug.”

If the music is on so loud that the floor practically shakes, you can say the music is “in the rug.” Mettre la musique dans le tapis means to put the music on full blast. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get y’a mis la musique dans l’tapis. There’s y’a again, which we saw in number 1; it’s a colloquial contraction of il a.

Y’a mis la musique dans l’tapis.
He put the music on full blast.
Much too literally: “He put the music in the rug.”

4. “Your dog is dead.”

If you no longer stand a chance at something, your dog’s snuffed it. That girl you wanted to go out with but who’s going out with someone new now (and it isn’t you)? Yeah, your dog’s dead. You can forget about it. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get ton chien est mort. You can also say, depending on the context, mon chien est mort, son chien est mort, etc.

Ton chien est mort.
You can forget about it. You’ve lost your chance.
Much too literally: “Your dog is dead.”

5. “He’s gonna get himself christed out.”

If you’ve just been christed out at work, you just got your ass fired. Crisser quelqu’un dehors, you’ll remember, means to kick someone the hell out, to fire someone’s ass, etc. We looked at the expression crisser dehors here recently. The verb crisser in this sense derives from Christ, so this verb is a swear word. If we translate our too-literally-translated-into-English example back into French, we get y va se faire crisser dehors, which means he’s gonna get his ass fired, he’s gonna get the fucking sack, etc. Y here is a colloquial pronunciation of il, which contracts to i’ in spoken language.

Y va se faire crisser dehors.
He’s gonna get his ass fired.
Much too literally: “He’s gonna get himself christed out.”

Bonus: “Dechrist!”

This is our much-too-literal way of saying décrisse!, meaning fuck off! We looked at the verb décrisser in the same post linked to above in number 5.

Décrisse!
Fuck off! Piss off!
Much too literally: “Dechrist!”

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You pig. Only a peasant says “mourir.” The correct verb is “trépasser.”

OffQc supports you fully in your quest to learn French. But, hey, let’s be honest — learning French isn’t for everybody.

If you enjoy living a life free of complexes, French is most likely not for you.

French is probably the only language in the world where the vast majority of its speakers consider practically everything said in the language to be incorrect.

You thought you could use the basic verb mourir in France? How innocent of you.

No matter what word you choose to say in any language situation, there will always be a French person only too pleased to scold you:

You pig. Only a peasant says mourir. The correct verb is trépasser. One must demonstrate respect for the French people by speaking our language beautifully. One does not callously say mon chien est mort. One must say mon canidé domestique trépassa.

What, you thought things were better in Québec?

Oh, sure, the Québécois are proud to not be a bunch of square-head anglos, but this doesn’t stop them from sweeping up their language and pushing it under the rug. Remember the expression fucker le chien, the one that the Québécois sometimes use to describe having difficulty doing something?

If you use the expression fucker le chien in Québec, your interlocutor will smile and feel flattered that you used an expression from Québec. Ultimately, however, the linguistic complex written into the DNA of every single Québécois will kick in:

Where did you learn to say that? That’s so funny. Well, it’s true that the Québécois say fucker le chien, but it’s not correct. You should say posséder sexuellement, not fucker. The word chien isn’t really correct either, tsé. You should say canidé domestique. The correct way to say the expression isn’t fucker le chien, but posséder sexuellement le canidé domestique. That’s how they say it in France. You shouldn’t speak bad like us, tsé.

If you suffer from a complex when you speak French, congratulations! You probably speak French rather well.

If you’re still free of any complex when you speak French, you’re most likely new to the language. Welcome, friend.

If you’re somewhere in the middle in the sense that you’ve not yet developed a fully fledged complex but still acknowledge there may be truth to this — and you’re going to press on in French anyway — OffQc salutes you, brave soldier.

If you’re undecided about learning French and none of this sounds terribly appealing, do yourself a favour and learn Spanish instead.

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