Posts Tagged ‘one-night stand’

The website À bien y penser is about having safer sex to reduce the risk of infections. The language used there is very good to know.

We first looked at some safer-sex French from that website here, in entry #778.

On one page of the website, called Les pires excuses pour ne pas utiliser le condom, we discover 10 terrible excuses used by certain horny people to avoid using a condom.

I’ve taken the 10 excuses and created a bilingual guide below to prepare you for what these people might say to you in French during your next weekend trip to Montréal.

I’ve altered the French only slightly in a couple spots: I’ve removed the ne in negative constructions, leaving only pas or rien, for a more conversational feel.

Les pires excuses pour ne pas utiliser le condom
The worst excuses for not using a condom

1. Si tu m’aimais, tu le ferais sans condom.
If you loved me, you’d do it without a condom.

2. Si j’avais quelque chose, je le saurais.
If I weren’t ok, I’d know.

3. Un condom, c’est pas confortable et je sens rien.
Condoms aren’t comfortable, and I can’t feel anything.

4. Tu me connais, c’est sûr que j’ai rien.
You know me, obviously I’m ok.

5. Je prends la pilule, pas besoin de condom.
I’m on the pill, no need for a condom.

6. Avec un condom, je perds mon érection.
When I use a condom, I lose my erection.

7. Je suis bien trop jeune pour avoir une infection*.
I’m way too young to have an infection.

8. Je suis allergique aux condoms.
I’m allergic to condoms.

9. Un condom, c’est fait pour les one night stand*.
Condoms are just for one-night stands.

10. Ça coupe le moment.
It ruins the moment.

_ _ _

*The original said une ITS instead of une infection. An ITS is an infection transmissible sexuellement, or sexually transmissible infection (STI).

*Even in the plural, it’s pronounced one night stand.

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