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Posts Tagged ‘swearing’

Buildings reflected in a wall of glass in Montréal

Lindsey asks about the Québécois expression crisser dehors, which came up in the last post.

You’ll remember that this expression (considered to be swearing in French) can be translated in English as something like to throw (someone) the fuck out, to fucking get rid of (someone), etc.

In the expression crisser dehors, it’s the verb crisser that’s a swear word because it derives from the name Christ.

Lindsey asks if you can use this expression in command form to tell someone to fuck off. No, you can’t. Here’s how you can use it (and then we’ll look at how fuck off might be rendered in French):

On m’a crissé dehors.
They threw me the fuck out,
They fucking kicked me out,
They fucking fired me, etc.

M’as te crisser dehors.
I’m gonna throw you the fuck out,
I’m gonna fucking kick you out, etc.

We looked at the meaning of m’as in this recent post.

Je l’ai crissé dehors.
I threw him the fuck out,
I fucking kicked him out,
I fucking sacked him, etc.

J’viens d’me faire crisser dehors.
I just got fucking fired,
They just fucking fired me,
I just got the fucking sack,
They just got the fuck rid of me, etc.

Je viens de me faire crisser dehors.
= On vient de me crisser dehors.

In all these examples, it’s important to note that crisser dehors doesn’t simply mean to throw (someone) out, to kick (someone) out. Remember, crisser is swearing, so it equates to something much stronger in English, like to throw (someone) the fuck out, to give (someone) the fucking sack, etc.

To get back to Lindsey’s question, you can’t say crisse dehors! to someone in the sense of fuck off!

Instead, you can use the verb décrisser, which has crisser as its root:

Décrisse!
Fuck off! Piss off!
Get the fuck away from me!
Take a fucking hike!

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In a recent article in the Journal de Montréal, a journalist provided examples of swearing committed by politicians.

I’ve listed the examples below, with a translation into English. Be prepared for foul language.

1. Va chier
Fuck off; literally, it means go shit
— Christine St-Pierre

2. Vieille plotte
Old cunt
— Thomas Mulcair

3. Tas de merde
The insult was said in English as piece of shit; the French here is the newspaper’s translation of that, but a more authentic wording would be tas de marde
— Justin Trudeau

4. Grosse crisse
Fat fuck; had this been said to a man, it would’ve been gros crisse
— Norman MacMillan

5. Fuck off
Not too hard to figure out…
— Pierre Elliott Trudeau

6. Crisser dehors
This expression means to throw someone the fuck out, to fucking get rid of someone
— Christine Moore

7. Crosseurs
A crosseur is someone who screws other people over
— Thomas Mulcair

8. Crisse de folle
Crazy bitch; more literally, it means fucking madwoman
— Danielle St-Amand

9. Maudite chienne
Damn bitch
— Jean Charest

Reference

“Vos députés se chicanent, s’insultent et s’excusent” by Sarah-Maude Lefebvre in Journal de Montréal, 20 March 2016, pp. 22-23. Online here

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On Twitter, Guy A. Lepage commented on a case in which a mother was found guilty of offering her daughter to her spouse as a sex toy, un jouet sexuel.

Lepage called the woman a colice de conne on Twitter.

What does this mean?

Here’s what the tweet says:

Colice de conne ! Prison longtemps please Une mère offre sa fille comme jouet sexuel à son conjoint via

If you guessed that Guy A. Lepage is insulting the mother, you’d be right! Here’s how it might read if it had been written in English:

Fucking idiot! Long prison sentence, please. A mother offers her daughter as a sex toy to her spouse.

Calling a man un con or a woman une conne is an insult in French.

The masculine word con in French is vulgar. Its English equivalent is cunt. In fact, con (French), cunt (English) and coño (Spanish) are all etymologically related.

When con or conne is used to insult someone, it becomes an offensive way of calling someone an idiot.

Interestingly, we read this about the usage of con and conne in Québec on Wikipedia:

Con et conne existent aussi au Québec et sont fréquemment utilisés, mais n’ont été adoptés que dans la deuxième moitié du 20esiècle, sous l’influence des films français. Ce terme argotique nous était inconnu avant la deuxième guerre mondiale.

Con and conne also exist in Québec and are frequently used, but they weren’t adopted until the second half of the 20th century, influenced by French films. This slang term was not used in Québec before the Second World War.

On that Wikipedia page, con and conne were given as synonyms of épais and épaisse, which are frequently used in Québec in the sense of “idiot.”

What about colice?

We’ve seen this before on OffQc but more often spelled on the blog as câlice and câlisse. In colice de conne, the colice de part means “fucking.”

colice de conne, fucking idiot
colice de cave, fucking idiot
colice de marde, fucking shit
ma câlisse de job, my fucking job
une câlice de bonne idée, a fucking good idea
un câlisse de chien sale, a fucking dirty dog

Be sure to listen to Laurent Paquin’s Chant sacré, where you’ll hear all kinds of Québécois swear words in a very short song.

You can follow Guy A. Lepage on Twitter here.

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If you like swear words + music with swear words, then you’ll love this short song by Laurent Paquin! It’s only 39 seconds long, but it’s full of sacres québécois (québécois swear words). Thanks to Jude for pointing me to it.

Chant sacré
Laurent Paquin (site officiel)

Ostie d’crisse de tabarnak
Ostie d’câlisse de viarge
(bis)

Ostie d’calvaire, ostie d’ciboire
Câlisse de tabarnak

Ostie d’crisse de tabarnak
Ostie d’câlisse de viarge
(bis)

Ostie d’câlisse de sacrament
Ciboire de saint Ostie

Ostie d’crisse de tabarnak
Ostie d’câlisse de viarge
(bis)

Ostie d’crisse de tabarnak
Ostie d’câlisse de viarge

_ _ _

Sacres québécois

sacres québécois

ostie = fuck
crisse = fuck
tabarnak = fuck
câlisse = fuck
viarge = fuck
calvaire = fuck
ciboire = fuck
sacrament = fuck
saint Ostie = Saint Fuck

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Décâlisse, tabarnak!

Décâlisse, tabarnak!

I witnessed an argument over an iPhone in a public place in Montréal yesterday where some colourful language was used…

A man in his 30s walked past a table where a man in his 60s was sitting. The older man was looking at his iPhone.

The younger man stopped about three metres away from the table where the older man was sitting and began to observe him intently. The older man didn’t like this, and he asked the younger man what exactly he was looking at.

That’s when the younger man explained that he had lost his iPhone in the area, and wanted to know if the iPhone the older man was using was really his own.

The older man got angry at the suggestion that he was using a lost or stolen phone. He then swore at the younger man telling him to get lost:

Décâlisse!
Go the fuck away!

The younger man asked if he could see the phone, and the older man swore at him again:

Décâlisse, tabarnak!
Go the fuck away, goddammit!

The younger man kept looking at the phone from where he was standing. He seemed pretty convinced that it might be his. He then challenged the older man by saying:

Tu viens avec moi. Tu veux parler fort? On va parler fort dehors.
You come with me. You wanna shout? We can go shout outside.

The older man just told the younger man where to go again:

DÉCÂLISSE!!!

The younger man then moved about seven metres away from the older man, wondering what he should do. After about a minute, he finally walked right up to the older man to take a really good look at the phone. After he looked, he backed off and said:

OK, c’est pas le mien. Tu vois? C’est pas compliqué. Je m’excuse.
OK, it’s not mine. You see? It’s not complicated. I’m sorry.

I don’t know who’s more to blame in this altercation!

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Le Navet, satirique mais poli

John just completed an 8 km run with RunTastic and nobody gives a shit, confirm his friends

That’s the headline used in an article from Le Navet, which I’ve translated into English.

Le Navet is a québécois humour site that publishes satirical articles in French. The articles are written in a convincing journalistic style, making for very comical reading! If you’re looking for something new to read in French, give Le Navet a try.

The headline from above reads like this in the original French article:

Jean vient de faire une course de 8 km avec RunTastic et tout le monde s’en sacre, confirment ses amis

The article then reports on Jean’s use of the RunTastic application, and how none of his Facebook friends give a flying fuck about his status updates regarding it:

Un homme originaire de la banlieue nord de Montréal vient tout juste de compléter une course de 8 km en 50 minutes avec l’application RunTastic et pas mal tout le monde s’en câlisse comme de l’an 40, ont confirmé avec conviction plusieurs de ses amis joints par Le Navet cet après-midi.

A man from the metropolitan area north of Montréal just completed an 8 km run in 50 minutes with the RunTastic application and pretty much nobody gives a flying fuck about it, confirm with conviction several of the man’s friends who were contacted by Le Navet this afternoon.

I’ve chosen this article in particular because it contains some language that we’ve been looking at recently on OffQc. There are also some other vocabulary items in the article that I wanted to draw your attention to.

1. Tout le monde s’en sacre.

Nobody gives a shit. Nobody gives a damn.

This comes from the article’s headline. The verb s’en sacrer means the same thing as s’en câlisser, which we looked at in a different entry dealing with the expression je m’en câlisse, or “I don’t give a fuck.” The phrase je m’en sacre means the same thing as je m’en câlisse.

2. Pas mal tout le monde s’en câlisse comme de l’an 40.

Pretty much nobody gives a flying fuck.

In English, when you really, really don’t care about something, fucks can start flying. In French, they’re more like the year 40. Hell yeah!

We looked at the expression pas mal in the last entry. This expression isn’t a negative — quite the opposite, in fact. We can translate pas mal tout le monde as “pretty much everybody.” Example: pas mal tout le monde est d’accord, “pretty much everybody agrees.”

I also wanted to draw your attention to some vocabulary used in the article related to Facebook status updates.

3. une publication

The article uses the word publication to refer to an update on Facebook. One of Jean’s friends had this to say about Jean’s RunTastic updates: Je dirais que sur vingt-cinq publications au sujet de ses courses, absolument aucune ne m’a le moindrement intéressée, “I’d say that, out of twenty-five updates about his runs, not a single one interested me in the least.”

4. J’aime son statut.

When you like someone’s status update on Facebook, tu aimes son statut. Jean’s friend admits to sometimes liking the RunTastic updates when none of Jean’s other friends like or comment on them: Parfois, j’aime son statut juste parce que je trouve ça gênant que personne réagisse.

Hmm, can you relate to that?

You might like to now review how to talk about blogging and blog posts in French. You can review words like un blogue and un billet.

[This entry’s vocabulary from: Le Navet, Jean vient de faire une course de 8 km avec RunTastic et tout le monde s’en sacre, confirment ses amis, lien]

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It almost sounds graceful...

From Gone with the Wind, after being dubbed into Québécois by a shit-disturber then subtitled back into English very literally for who knows what reason.

As graceful as it sounds, it’s probably best not to translate je m’en câlisse as “I chalice myself of it.”

No, it’s better translated as “I don’t give a fuck.”

That’s right — when you don’t give a flying fuck about something, you sacred-vessel yourself of that blasted thing.

That’s because the québécois swear verb câlisser derives from the religious calice, which is the chalice for Catholics.

To help you engrain the expression je m’en câlisse into your head forever, here are 10 examples from around the web.

1. In auto mechanics

Ce char-là, il est tough en maudit. Le jour où il va lâcher, il lâchera. Je m’en câlisse! C’est le dernier de mes soucis. Pour l’instant il roule. That car is tough as hell. The day it breaks down, it breaks down. I don’t give a fuck! That’s the last of my worries. For now, it still runs. Julie Robidoux, Ligne de vie

2. In business

Je m’en câlisse des clients, continua-t-il en élevant le ton, emporté par une colère incontrôlable. “I don’t give a fuck about the customers,” he continued, in a louder voice, overcome with uncontrollable anger. Yves Beauchemin, Le Matou

3. In weight-loss

Je m’en câlisse des excuses! I don’t give a fuck about the excuses! Fuck off with the excuses already! Club Athlétique Mansfield, via OffQc #611

4. In national pride

Je vais utiliser des gants blancs, mais tant qu’à moi, la Fête nationale, je m’en câlisse. I’ll try to be gentle when I say this, but I personally don’t give a fuck about the National Holiday (of Québec). Joël Martel, Mauvaise herbe, J’haïs la Saint-Jean

5. In royal matters

Ça m’épate à quel point je m’en colisse de la visite du prince Charles! It amazes me just how much I don’t give a fuck about Prince Charles’s visit! @jf_lalonde, Twitter (colisser is a variation of câlisser)

6. In psychology

J’ai une grand-mère de mon côté paternel qui s’en câlisse pas mal de moi et je m’en câlisse d’elle. I have a grandmother on my father’s side who really doesn’t give a fuck about me and I don’t give a fuck about her. el_picador, depotoir.ca (pas mal = pretty much)

7. In fashion

Je m’en câlisse que tu mettes des bas dans tes sandales, si t’es bien comme ça! I don’t give a fuck if you wear socks with your sandals, if you’re comfortable like that! Le point de non retour, Pour en finir avec les fashionistas

8. In immigration

Passé 50 ou 60 ans je m’en câlisse si un nouvel arrivant veut pas parler français. After age 50 or 60, I really don’t give a fuck if a newcomer doesn’t want to speak French. Grognor, reddit

9. In relationships

[Le badboy] prend de la place et a en quasi permanence une attitude du genre « je m’en câlisse, si tu n’es pas contente, décrisse ». Badboys (in relationships) are overbearing and almost always have that “I don’t give a fuck, fuck off if you’re not happy” attitude. Ol’ Dirty Jo, Sextons-Nous, Ce que femme veut selon ODJ

10. In politics

Elle a coupé la parole à quelqu’un en criant « je m’en câlisse de ton mouvement de marde ». She cut someone off by screaming, “I don’t give a fuck about your shitty movement.” Occupons Montréal

On s’en câlisse!

Now that you know je m’en câlisse, you also know on s’en câlisse, tu t’en câlisses, il s’en câlisse, etc. During the student protests in 2012, the protesters chanted la loi spéciale, on s’en câlisse!

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