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Here’s a funny exchange of textos (text messages) from the television show Les Parent.

Thomas receives a texto from his younger brother, who’s in a predicament. He leads his younger brother to believe he won’t help him out.

Click on the image for a larger version.

Peux-tu venir me chercher? J’ai oublié ma passe au cégep pis j’ai pu de cash.
Can you come get me? I forgot my pass at the cégep and I don’t have any more cash.

Quête.
Beg.

Ben oui, tsé.
Yeah, right.

Marche.
Walk.

Ça va me prendre 2h?!
It’ll take me 2hrs?!

Sûrement 🙂
No doubt 🙂

Pire frère EVER!!!
Worst brother EVER!!!

Relaxe, je niaisais.
Relax, I was just kidding.

_ _ _

une passe
a pass [for public transport]

un cégep
an educational institution in Québec
English explanation on Wikipedia

j’ai pu de cash
= je n’ai plus de cash

quêter
to beg, to panhandle

tsé
= tu sais

ben oui, tsé
literally: well yeah, ya know
(used sarcastically)

niaiser
to joke around, to kid

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In the Parent family, there are three sons. The youngest one is Zak, the middle one is Oli, and the oldest one is Thomas.

In this text message exchange, Oli steals Zak’s phone and sends messages to his mother, pretending to be Zak.

Can you guess what kind of messages an older brother would send to his mother while pretending to be his little brother?

M’man, j’ai commencé à fumer.
Maman, I’ve started smoking.

OK.
OK.

Mais juste quand je bois beaucoup d’alcool.
But just when I drink lots of alcohol.

Si ça te rend heureux 🙂
If that’s what makes you happy 🙂

Mais ça coûte cher pis il me reste pu de $ pour acheter des condoms.
But it’s expensive and I don’t have any money left to buy condoms.

As-tu pensé à voler Oli? C’est mon moins favori. Surtout qd il niaise avec le cell de Zak.
Why don’t you steal it from Oli? He’s my least favourite (son). Especially when he fools around with Zak’s cell.

Comment t’as su?
How did you know?

Il est devant moi. Et il txt ta blonde avec ton cell en ton nom.
He (Zak) is right in front of me. And he’s txting your girlfriend with your cell using your name.

pis, and (sounds like pi)
pu = plus
il me reste pu $ = il [ne] me reste p[l]u[s] d’argent
acheter des condoms, to buy condoms
voler Oli, to rob Oli, to steal from Oli
qd = quand
niaiser avec, to mess around with
le cell d’Oli, Oli’s cell phone
t’as = tu as
su = from the verb savoir
il txt = il texte
texter ta blonde, to text your girlfriend

Les Parent Facebook page
Les Parent is also on tou.tv

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Zak

Zak

When you were a kid, were you ever embarrassed to be seen in public with your parents?

Les Parent is a comical television show from Québec revolving around the day-to-day experiences of a family of five.

In this show, Zak is the youngest child in the family.

Recently, an imaginary text message exchange between Zak and his father was posted on the Les Parent Facebook page. Zak gets embarrassed by something his father does in front of his school…

J’suis devant ton école. Veux-tu un lift?
I’m in front of your school. Do you want a lift?

Non, c’est beau.
No, it’s OK.

Je peux te prendre au coin si ça te gêne.
I can pick you up at the corner if it embarrasses you.

J’m’en vais chez Zoé pour faire un travail.
I’m going to Zoé’s to work on an assignment.

Ah! OK. Donc, t’as pas honte de moi?
Ah! OK. So, you’re not embarrassed by me?

Ben non, voyons.
No, of course not.

Dans ce cas, regarde par la fenêtre. C’est moi qui fais des bye bye dans le stationnement.
In that case, look out the window. That’s me waving at you in the parking lot.

ARRÊTE ÇA!
STOP IT!

Learn the whole text, but here are six sentences in particular that you can learn from the exchange.

1. Veux-tu un lift? Do you want a lift?
2. Non, c’est beau. No, that’s OK. Don’t worry about it.
3. Je peux te prendre au coin. I can pick you up at the corner.
4. Je m’en vais chez Zoé. I’m going to Zoé’s place.
5. Ben non, voyons. No, of course not.
6. Arrête ça! Stop it!

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A guy in his late teens or early 20s standing in front of a shopping centre asked me if he could use my phone. He was waiting for a friend to pick him up, but it was taking his friend a long time to arrive.

The guy called his friend from my phone, but there was no answer. So he also sent his friend a text message from my phone:

Yo c pablo jsui la men c long fuck

Can you decipher the message?

Yo, c’est Pablo. J’suis là, man. C’est long, fuck.
Yo, it’s Pablo. I’m here, man. What’s taking so long, fuck.

Maybe you’ll remember that je suis is pronounced informally as chu or chui. On OffQc, I’ve used the spellings j’sus (chu) and j’suis (chui), but you’ll come across other spellings too.

C’est long! It’s taking a long time! What’s taking so long? Maybe you’re waiting for the bus and it’s taking a long time: c’est long! Or, like Pablo, maybe you’ve been waiting a really long time for a friend to arrive and you’re losing patience: c’est long, fuck!

Don’t pronounce the g in long. This word rhymes with mon.

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In the television comedy Les Parent, Thomas is the oldest of three sons in the Parent family.

In this image (taken from the Les Parent Facebook page), we read a funny text message exchange between Thomas (grey) and his father (green). You can click on the image to make it bigger.

Thomas thinks he can hide a house party from his father, who’s away with his youngest son Zak.

But his father discovers that Thomas is up to no good, and he calls Thomas out on it…

Père — Salut mon grand. Tout se passe bien?

Thomas — Oui p’pa. Profitez de votre w-e. Allo à Zak.

Père — Tu fais quoi?

Thomas — Rien. Je chill dans ma chambre.

Père — Good. Dernière question, c’est qui le gars qui sonne à la porte avec 3 caisses de 24?

Thomas — Hein?? Vs êtes où?

Père — Devant la maison. En arrière des 6 autos / 8 scooters / 14 vélos qui bloquent l’entrée.

Père — Oh! La musique vient d’arrêter…

mon grand, big guy (term of endearment)
p’pa, papa
w-e, weekend (texting abbreviation)
je chill, I’m chilling, hanging out
un gars, a guy (pronounced )
sonner à la porte, to ring the doorbell
une caisse de 24, a case of 24 beers, a “two-four”
vs, vous (texting abbreviation)
en arrière de, behind
bloquer l’entrée, to block the driveway

Thomas thought he could get away with saying he was just chilling in his room. But when he learns that his father is in front of the house seeing that a party’s underway, he cuts the music… and his father makes a sarcastic comment.

Here it is in English:

Father — Hi big guy. Everything ok?
Thomas — Yeah, Dad. Enjoy your weekend. Hi to Zak [his little brother].
Father — What are you doing?
Thomas — Nothing. Chilling in my room.
Father — Good. Last question, who’s the guy with 3 two-fours (3 cases of beer) ringing the doorbell?
Thomas — What?? Where are you guys?
Father — In front of the house. Behind the 6 cars / 8 scooters / 14 bikes blocking the driveway.
Father — Oh! The music just stopped… [i.e., Oh! Go figure! The music just stopped…]

The show Les Parent is broadcast on television on Radio-Canada. It’s also periodically available online at tou.tv for Canadian viewers.

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